Supervisor Conversation Guide

Whether a woman keeps her job through Hyperemesis Gravidarum is often decided in one conversation with her manager. This is how to have that conversation well.

For: Managers & supervisorsRead: 7 minutesFormat: Letter · read before the meeting

Before you meet

Read Understanding HG at Work first — ten minutes

Book a private room, or a call with camera optional

Allow 30 minutes; do not schedule it before something else

Confirm with HR what you can and cannot commit to

Offer a morning-flexible time — mornings are often worst

Decide nothing in advance; come to listen

How to open

Open by removing the two fears she walked in with: that she will not be believed, and that her job is at risk. Everything else in the conversation gets easier once those are addressed.

·"Thank you for telling me. I have read about Hyperemesis Gravidarum — I understand this is a serious medical condition, not typical pregnancy sickness."

·"Your job is not at risk. I want to work out how to support you."

·"I do not need medical details. I would like to understand what parts of the work are hard right now."

·"Nothing you say here goes further without your agreement."

Five questions worth asking

01Which parts of your role are hardest at the moment?

02What times of day are worst for you?

03What would make the biggest difference this week — not in general, this week?

04How would you like absence handled, so you are not explaining every time?

05What would you like colleagues to be told, and by whom?

What not to say

Avoid

Try instead

"Have you tried ginger or small meals?"

"I am not going to offer remedies. Tell me what you need at work."

"My wife had morning sickness and managed fine."

"I have not seen this before. Help me understand what it is like."

"Let me know if it gets worse."

"Let us set a check-in for Friday so you do not have to raise it."

"We will need a note for each absence."

"One note from your provider is enough. Text me on bad days, no explanation needed."

"How long will this last?"

"This can change week to week. Let us plan in two-week blocks."

"Are you still planning to come back?"

"Whatever happens, your role is here. We will plan it when you are ready."

Close with three commitments

01One specific adjustment starting immediately — not pending approval.

02One agreed way to report a bad day: a single text, no justification.

03A date, in the calendar before she leaves the room, for the next check-in.

Afterwards

Send a short written summary of what you agreed

Notify HR of accommodations, not diagnosis

Adjust deadlines and reassign duties yourself — do not ask her to negotiate with colleagues

Tell the team only what she approved

Hold the check-in even if nothing seems wrong

Revisit the plan every two weeks

THON Reflection

She is not asking you to fix her illness. She is asking you not to make it more expensive to be ill. That is entirely within your power.

Notes from this conversation

Part of the THON Employer Toolkit™ · Practical guidance · Last reviewed July 2026 · Next review January 2027
This resource is educational. It is not legal advice and does not replace guidance from qualified employment counsel or a healthcare professional. Employment protections for pregnancy-related conditions vary by jurisdiction; confirm your obligations locally. © 2026 The House of Nirvana · thehouseofnirvana.org · info@thehouseofnirvana.org · You are not alone.